I am so excited about this weekend! My friend L, my daughter A, and I will be hanging out! We are getting a hotel room. We'll be going to the pool and out to eat and maybe shopping. L is A's godmother, which is why she's coming along. A loves L. That and the fact … Continue reading Weekend
Category: Bipolar
Break, Etsy
I've been lying low the past couple of days and just trying to feel better. I haven't been on social media much. I've been sleeping a lot. I still got dinner on the table, but I laid down a lot on Thursday and Friday. I have been enjoying family time as well. My husband is … Continue reading Break, Etsy
Bad Day
I want to go back to my old medicine. I am not doing well. I have laundry to do if I don't want things to back up. I have meals to make. I need to clean. But I feel dead. My soul hurts. I need to pray and draw closer to God, but honestly I … Continue reading Bad Day
Sick Day
I have been throwing up a lot since I woke up today. I feel sweaty and weak and tired. At this point I'm just hoping I can keep my medicine down tonight. Yesterday we went to a restaurant we won't have around any more when we move. We grabbed ice cream too. This coming week … Continue reading Sick Day
Big Cleaning Day
Although I was still sick, I was doing a little better, and I cleaned the house like crazy. Dusting, laundry, organizing, dishes, picking up, cleaning bathrooms etc. Disinfecting things felt good. I want to chase the sick out of the house. I got 150 zink photo paper stickers recently, and I have been printing my … Continue reading Big Cleaning Day
Dr Appointments, Diet, Mania
I went to the GI doctor today. He thinks, based on imaging that was done on me when I was in the hospital, that there might be something wrong with my liver. I have to get an MRI soon. Hopefully it's nothing. I also have other problems they found, but I likely won't have surgery … Continue reading Dr Appointments, Diet, Mania
Failure
Right now I feel like a failure because my father in law came, last minute and a week early, to help me. I am having mental health issues, and it's making survival difficult. I can't drive today. Surprisingly, it isn't because of my swollen eyelid. That's coming from something else. Not sure what. I am … Continue reading Failure
ECT is Killing Me
I started ECT the Monday before yesterday. I have to get up and out the door by 430 am. It takes them about an hour to give everyone an IV, put the electrode things on them, etc. Then they go one by one and zap us. The machine makes a weird, fast beeping sound when … Continue reading ECT is Killing Me
ECT or TMS
I have a consultation next week for ECT. Yes, that ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy. I hate that it has come to this, but after the disaster in Panama I need to come to terms with the fact I'm not a functional person. So much of my living is impaired by mental illness. The reason I'm still … Continue reading ECT or TMS
Panama Has Been a Nightmare
I have not done one single activity with the wives. Right now I am supposed to be going to the Presidential Palace to meet the First Lady. I long to go, but my anxiety is too high and my mood too unstable. I have been suicidal most of the trip. Now that the romantic portion … Continue reading Panama Has Been a Nightmare
Cherished Rainbow 