After picking up the groceries this morning, I invited one of my friends over for a morning of reality tv. It's fun to make fun of it all. We had a lovely morning, but I had to cut it short due to anxiety. I really hate it when that happens. Since then, I have been … Continue reading Company, Tablecloth, Rosary
Tag: anxiety
ECT or TMS
I have a consultation next week for ECT. Yes, that ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy. I hate that it has come to this, but after the disaster in Panama I need to come to terms with the fact I'm not a functional person. So much of my living is impaired by mental illness. The reason I'm still … Continue reading ECT or TMS
Agoraphobia?
I'm back at home now after a terrible trip to Panama. I was on the phone with my health coach today, and she suggested that my experience sounded like agoraphobia. My reactions to cities and other busy places aren't normal. I feel worn out and defeated. The life of travel I dreamed of won't happen. … Continue reading Agoraphobia?
Panama Has Been a Nightmare
I have not done one single activity with the wives. Right now I am supposed to be going to the Presidential Palace to meet the First Lady. I long to go, but my anxiety is too high and my mood too unstable. I have been suicidal most of the trip. Now that the romantic portion … Continue reading Panama Has Been a Nightmare
Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
I'm writing this from Casco Viejo in Panama. I am doing badly. Leaving the hotel room is a struggle. Twice I have had panic attacks in public. Mental illness is very real. This week my husband has work to do. Our romantic vacation ends tomorrow and we go to a different hotel in another part … Continue reading Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
On My Own
My husband had been gone for a couple of days, and I have been on my own. Normally, my father in law comes to help, but since this is a short trip, I didn't want to ask him to come all the way down here. So, I have been toughing it out on my own. … Continue reading On My Own
Digital Art Journaling
Using gradients, public domain photos, my photos, textures, light leaks, texts, cut outs, and digital scrapbooking paper, I have spent the afternoon art journaling on my phone. It feels so good! It's very enriching and cathartic. Welcome to my creative space, where I strive to reap the therapeutic benefits of art. Making these art journal … Continue reading Digital Art Journaling
Succulents, MWR Digital Library
Today I took Angelica on a mommy daughter trip to Home Depot to choose succulents. She chose two cacti. I chose 3 mini succulents to go in one pot. Craig leaves again soon and will be gone for almost 2 whole weeks, with one brief trip home in the middle. My father-in-law is coming to … Continue reading Succulents, MWR Digital Library
Riding the Rollercoaster
If I could show you my mood graph, you would see few jagged peaks interspersed with long valleys lately. Functioning has been difficult. However, over the weekend having my husband here has been a balm to my soul. We've gotten important shopping done, watched the new Jurassic World, and worked on the house. He went … Continue reading Riding the Rollercoaster
Cherished Rainbow 