I’ve written before about how I long for an organization or order of lay Catholics who are creatives. I feel a tug at my heart to build a website and start something. I’ve been longing for some form of religious life that allows for the integration of poetry, art, composing, choreography, etc to God’s honor and glory. There doesn’t seem to be anything like that in existence, and a still, quiet voice seems to be putting this issue on my heart. I am in no way qualified to lead something like this. I am a new Catholic, have zero organizational skills, and no leadership experience. But this has been on my heart since before I realized the Catholic Church has the whole truth. I always wanted to better blend my creative life and my faith, have a community, follow a form of discipline, and consecrate my life to God. I have felt for years that such a community should exist. It’s this quiet wish that gnaws at my spirit.
All this to say, I am going to design a sort of discipline or form of religious life that combines creative output with lectio divina and bible journaling and prayer. I am going to ask for guidance from my priest. I hope he will be able to make a little time to check in on me and give me spiritual direction and some accountability. I can tweak the rules as God directs me, as my priest advises me to, and as I see what is drawing me closer to God and what isn’t. Then, after I have lived life as though I am in a creative Catholic order, if I can stick to it and it bears fruit, I can open it up to others.
I need to pray for guidance as I go through this. I need to obey the still small voice of God and not my own voice. I don’t know if God will choose to bless this. He may find another leader for it and just want me to kick it off, which would not upset me at all. I just want to serve and truthfully, like I said, I don’t feel qualified to lead. He may decide this is something that just I should do, and I need to live a life of creative devotion to Him. Or it may not work out at all. God may tell me to redirect. But by living according to the rules of the order I’m hoping to create, I will be able to personally attest to the spiritual benefits of practicing the discipline I propose. I will need God’s help to do this.
This blog post is not an example of my best writing. My thoughts are discombobulated and not flowing smoothly. That’s mainly because I’m still gathering my thoughts and I feel overwhelmed at the thought of making such a commitment. If I consecrate my life to God in that way, that is a permanent thing, and I would hate to not live up to my promise. But I think at the core of the commitment, anyone who joins the order (and therefore me first and foremost) should commit to 30 minutes of creative output a day minimum, and 30 minutes of lectio divina and prayer or Bible journaling minimum every day. I know that may not sound like a lot for someone who has an open schedule like I often do, but there’s always the option to do more when I feel well enough to do more. Sometimes severe Bipolar Disorder leaves me less than functional, and I will be grateful the commitment is only an hour a day. In general, though, I hope to get to where I commit to much more than that. But if I want this to be something accessible to people who are not nuns and priests, but rather laypeople, I need to realize that some people who join will have full-time jobs or 4 kids or ailing relatives. And an hour a day in total will already be a big commitment for them. So I personally would like to get to where I do more than that, but I wouldn’t want to ask that of anyone else unless they felt called and able. Some would be professional creatives who are already doing creative output 8 hours a day or more. But some can be housewives/mothers or in noncreative professions.
I would like, if God wills it, to name this organization after my patron saint, Hildegard of Bingen. She was a creative genius who devoted her life to God. I believe the order should be for both men and women, but maybe God will decide otherwise. Right now though, the order is going to consist of me, myself, and I. I need all the discipline I can muster. I need guidance. If my priest is too busy I may ask my earthly father for accountability and wisdom. He is a new Catholic too, but he is very devoted, and he thinks this idea might be a calling from God. I just really hope my priest will bless this and help me, because obviously, as a Catholic, I would want this to fall under the authority and approval of the Catholic Church. If the church did not approve, I couldn’t see doing it. That said, if it’s not something my local priest can approve I’m not really sure what else to do. And it might be better to get the organization going first to show the church that we mean business and that people are serious and then try to be accepted by the church than to do it the other way around. But if the church just doesn’t bless it period then I will assume I am barking up the wrong tree. But I figured by starting with me and my own life and seeing what fruit I bear it will be a good test run, and it will help me to see if I really am cut out to even do this.
If you are Catholic, would you be interested in something like this? It would be open to creatives of all types, from composers to actors to painters, to sculptors, to writers, everybody. If you happen to be clergy and you see this I would love if you could chime in with any wisdom or suggestions that you have.
I don’t know if there will be a community service component or not. The Lord hasn’t really spoken to me on that. And I’m already saying that the minimum requirement is an hour a day of commitment, and that’s a lot already, but it would be nice to get out into the community and do something. There will not be a vow of poverty because many creative things cost a lot of money in materials, and it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to say take a vow of poverty, but also buy soft pastels that can cost hundreds of dollars or buy an easel that can run you a couple of hundred to hold your canvas or any number of things like that. Creativity requires cash in a lot of cases. But I do think there needs to be charity commensurate with whatever a person has to give. And maybe one day, there could even be a system where more well off or widely recognized members help with networking or supplies for poorer or less well known brothers and sisters in Christ. I would love to help with that. I am not a well-known poet. Although I am published, but I certainly could help other poets get things off the ground or buy art supplies for broke artists in need. I believe art is such a beautiful way to worship god and it is so soothing and healing for the soul that I want it to be accessible to everyone. Last year when I lived in Virginia, I contacted the local homeless shelter/soup kitchen about starting an art therapy program for people there but didn’t hear back. I know they’ve got bigger fish to fry, but I really do believe that creativity can be life-changing, and if you use it right, it can bring you closer to God. That has certainly been my experience. God called me to Him through photography, but that is another story for another day. But I would love to do some sort of outreach where the Lord, with me as His hands and feet, brings the goodness of creativity into the community.
Cherished Rainbow 